Just Be Held
Mother's Day isn't always amazing and filled with gifts, cards and beautiful memories for everyone.
If it is for you, count your blessings and be ever so grateful because you are truly numbered among the ones that celebrate with abandon this weekend. For many... I'd venture to say more often than not even, this weekend holds at the very least a trigger for something deep in the inside that reminds them of what is missing.
Some of you are missing your momma's because they have passed from this life and life for you from that moment on changed forever.
Some of you are missing your mom because she was never a part of your life anyway... Not like it should have been. Not like it was supposed to be.
Some of you are missing your mom because the only memories you have bring up pain, rejection, and pictures of abuse... The guilt you bear for even feeling that way is more than you can take, so you loathe this weekend every year and a little bit of you dies again and again each time you behold the roses, the jewelry and every freaking Hallmark commercial.
Some of you only feel the weight of an empty womb and remember daily, not just this weekend but every single day that your body doesn't work right. Something is wrong with you and you aren't like every other woman. You get to watch woman after woman and family after family celebrate together... All of them but you. You just get reminded. You are a failure.
Some of you live under the weight of excruciating decisions made in excruciating circumstances and your babies are either with Jesus or with another loving family. You wonder every single day what their faces look like, do they sound like you? 'What if's" plague you and this weekend stings like a bite from a familiar foe that visits each year with precision pain and accuracy and reminds you of a time in your life that being alone and afraid left your arms even more empty and yet a mother you will forever be.
Some of you grieve. You grieve the loss of a child. Whether that loss came before that precious child took it's first breath this side of Heaven or if you stood over it's grave and uttered the words "dust to dust"... This day reminds you that we live in a fallen world where death is certain and sometimes, as unfair and untimely as it is we as momma's will bury our babies and there is no loss under the sun that is more cruel. Mary knew all about it. She NEVER once wavered. She stayed until his last breath was taken. That's what we do.
No matter what this weekend holds for you, I want you to know that Jesus will be near, lovely one. Don't be saddened if you don't receive the flowers. He will gather you to Himself as a beautiful bouquet of roses, and He will breathe you in. You are a beautiful fragrant gift to His heart, every single crushed petal releases the oil of brokenness and it rises before His throne as a sacrifice of praise.
Just be held.
