Though You Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death...

I am an intercessor. 

Simply said, that means that I go before God on behalf of people and I go before people on behalf of God. I stand in between and I pray. Coming into the full realization of this calling didn't come easy. In fact, the process was brutal and like a lamb led to slaughter, I trudged through many a valley and moments of certain death before receiving the mantle of a prophetic intercessor. 

Yes, the purpose of the process was most definitely death. I had to die. I still have to die. Daily, I die. The apostle Paul wrote often in the new testament about the necessity of crucifying our flesh daily and Jesus said that it was impossible to be His disciple without the bearing of one's own cross (Luke 14:27). So death to me was the only way. And just so you know... It is still the only way. 

As I journeyed through the valley of the shadow of death (if you haven't been there, trust me, you will), this thought kept coming to me: "I know there is a table here somewhere... David talked about it in Psalm 23... If I can just get to the table... There will be refreshing at the table He prepared for me in the presence of my enemies... I think I see the table in the distance..." 
More often than not, I found myself crawling through that God forsaken valley. Yes, there were moments where, like David, I found myself lying in green pastures, or walking along still waters... But to be honest, this valley was death. It smelled like death, it felt like death, and I crawled... and groped through the darkness and the wreckage of death in hopes that soon I would be able to see the table that awaited me. What I didn't count on was how the appearance of the table would pale in comparison to the Shepherd I would SEE waiting for me at the table.

From the foggy distance I finally made out the table, prepared just like David described. I could see the enemies lurking in the background, watching me. I was getting closer, they knew it... I knew it. The closer I got, the view was no longer hazy. In fact, light illuminated the shadow of death and the outline of a staff...a Shepherd's staff came into view. There it was, leaning against the table and I knew the Shepherd must be near. I felt a renewed strength come into my body and as I lifted myself from the ground, I decided that crawling just wasn't going to cut it. I had something in sight that would require every bit of fortitude I had left in me. I began to run. I took the deepest breath I could muster, and I ran. 

Then... Then, I saw Him. It was the most glorious, relieving moment of my life. Yes, I had already had the death to life moment of salvation through Him... But this was different. This moment was not a death to life conversion. This moment would capture the realization that in the darkest, most horrifying circumstances of life that I am not alone. This moment would reveal the very real and vulnerable state of my feeble life and my complete and raw dependency on Him. This moment would settle in my heart once and for all that He is truly the Good Shepherd and surely His goodness and mercy would follow me all the days of my life. 

The cry of my heart as an intercessor is that you would see Him. After experiencing the agony of that valley, I know that if you can SEE Him in the midst of it, really see Him and His goodness that everything will change. If your eyes could just behold the One who is preparing your table, the table wouldn't even matter that much. You most definitely would forget that your enemies are watching you eat, they won't...but you will. You would become so enamored with the Shepherd and His beauty that the brutality of the valley would serve to only remind you of the weight of glory that awaits you. 

My prayer for you today is that you would see Him. The fog is lifting and a light is clearing a path. May you gain a glimpse of the staff resting against the table and fully behold the Good, Good Shepherd who has prepared to dine with you.